KENYAN POLICE OPT TO SHOOTING THEIR SUPERIORS IN SORTING OUT THEIR GRIEVANCES

KENYAN POLICE

NGAO PETER  SHIMALAVANDU

PAYSLIP

MONTH: JUNE 2007

Basic Salary                               15,000

Hse allowance                                     0                            

Gross salary           15, 0000

Deductions

Magereza SACCO                      3000.00

NHIF                                              320.00

NSSF                                             200.00

PAYE                                           2740.00

Insurance premium                   1540.00

Barclay's Loan RELOADED       3260.00

Bambika na KCB LOAN             2250.00

Total Deductions                      13310.00

Net Pay                        1690.00

Surely why wouldn't the motherfucker shoot his boss in an event he will feel that he has been asked stupid questions, like why are you late to work today?

Arthur Busaka: Am assuming that JESUS was born today.

Arthur Busaka: Am assuming that JESUS was born today.: "What if Jesus wasn't born 2000 years ago, but rather God decided to send His son today?Where would He be born? Would He still choose ..."

Am assuming that JESUS was born today.

What if Jesus wasn't born 2000 years ago, but rather God decided to send His son today?

Where would He be born?  Would He still choose a humble birth, or rather one more middle class?  Would His father be a carpenter, or rather a web designer?  And how about His mother?  Is there any woman today worthy to be the mother of our Savior?

 How about when Jesus reaches adulthood?  Would He choose the same venues for His public ministry?   Perhaps He would take to the Internet and create His own Web site.  Would He use Facebook to gather and record his followers?  Would I be brave enough to friend him, or better yet, would He friend me? 

Or maybe He would speak to the crowds in Grand Central Terminal as they boarded and exited the trains.  Perhaps He would preach His sermon in Central Park to crowds of park dwellers and their families.  Maybe He'd be the lead singer in a band and have sold out concerts in an attempt to reach followers through music.  Would they be going just for the music, or to listen to His message? 

But more importantly, would He be accepted?  When the authorities mock Him and arrest Him as some crazy lunatic, how many of us would support Him and demand His release?

Thank goodness, we know He already came and saved the world.  Knowing that, it is up to us, those who choose to accept Him, to keep Him alive in today's world.  After all, isn't that what we are all called to do?  Jesus is present anywhere we want Him to be.  So while we wait for Him to come again in all His glory, we can help move things along. All it takes is a willing heart and some creativity to bring Him and His message to others. Soon, at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow.

This idea as a whole is hypothetical, strange and even funny.  But it's interesting to consider this question: How would you react to Jesus if He first came today and not over 2000 years ago? Would you accept and follow Him, or would you be too blocked by your fear and doubt? How do you think the 21st Century world would respond to Jesus if He came today?

MEN ASK WOMEN DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

There's just loads of things us men want to know about women, what they think, what they like, what they don't like, why our chat up lines don't work and so on and so on.
However, some question are hard for women to answer and in an event that they are answered correctly, they will do more harm than good and that's why I recommend that you should never ask them at any particular point.
I will admit to having asked this question, but only after they already asked it of me. If they hadn’t asked me, I never would have asked them. I recently read something where a young woman’s boyfriend had asked her what her sex number was and she lied, telling him that it was much less than it really was. And even with the smaller number, he got upset and called her a slut and so forth. Not cool, I would have kicked his condescending ass to the curb.
Well, this question puts a girl in a very awkward position. They have to lie! If you know the truth she will not be getting sex from you. Come on guys, you don't really want to know the truth on that one, do you? (NO, NO, Honey, really, you're my first.)
But anyway lets try to help the men in answering this question once and for all. Every man that was brought up in similar circumstances as my own would be familiar with these occurrence; the girl you met at the club made her drink much then ended up taking her to bed, that stranded young girl you met at the streets looking for bus fare and you asked to escort you to your place for you had left money at home,remember that innocent house girl, what about the jobs you were giving and the interviews were done in your bedroom..... these games are endless and just a reminder these women are not from mars, they are very women you are asking that question. So, don’t ask anyone how many people they have slept with. And if someone asks you, don’t tell them. Let them know that there is no right answer and that you don’t want to know their number either. If you need to, refer them to this post. In order to have a healthy sexual relationship with someone, you need to be with them in the present. The past is the past. Learn from it, but don’t let it dictate your life now and don’t give it a place in your current relationship. I hope this helps some of you. Have happy, healthy, and safe sex lives.

HOW DIFFERENT DO WE INTERPRET THINGS.

A Kikuyu and Dr. Onyango go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, the Kikuyu wakes his faithful friend.

"Dr. Onyango, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Dr. Onyango replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?"

Arthur Busaka

Dr. Onyango ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

or What does it tell you, Mr. Kikuyu?"

The Kikuyu is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Dr. Onyango, you kubafu, foko jebe, brari uji baridi! It means someone has stolen our tent!!!!."




AN EXTRA KSH 1000 WILL GIVE YOU SPECIAL TREATMENT @ A MASSAGE PARLOR

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FACEBOOK NATIONAL EXAMNATION

A total of 500,000 Kenyans sat for the FCIE (Face book Certificate of Idleness Examination) last year in various cybers, offices and mobile phones around the country.

These students sat for a total of ten papers including Wall writing, poking, inboxing, friend request & rejection science, Photo upload, chatting, Application usage, Face book Drama, Online chemistry and Mobile face booking.

1) The best performed subject in the last exam was chatting. This can be attributed to the increased usage of face book by secretaries, non-management level employees and students who are naturally good at chatting.

2) The worst performed subject was poking. As indicated earlier, night poking is no longer in the FCIE syllabus and thus all students who practice it were given a straight E.

3) Cheating was noted especially in Online chemistry. Cheating activities like stalking, snooping and scavenging on broken relationship status are rampant. Male students are most affected by these practices.

4) Face book drama was the most popular subject in the exam. This was as a result of some students adding their parents as friends and married men and women adding their mipango ya kando to their friends lists.

5) Mobile face booking is becoming an increasingly popular subject but the performance is still low. To boost performance in this subject, all students taking mobile face booking as a course have been ordered to take spelling classes with immediate effect.

6) Applications showed an improved performance especially after introduction of new set books like Farmville and Three Kingdoms online.

7) Inboxing also saw a remarkable improvement boosted by players, gossips and unfaithful spouses. Mipango ya kando have especially benefitted

8) A majority of students had their examinations missing since the list of official names did not tally with names used on their profiles. All affected students are requested to report to their nearest cyber with their birth certificates, IDs and accompanied by BOTH parents.

9) Photo upload saw an improved performance mostly attributed to funny photos, obscene ones and photos of drunk friends. We urge all students in the Republic of Face book to keep up the good work.

10) All students who failed the exam are required to clear their face book accounts, surrender their passwords and move to MySpace for Bridging courses. Those who really failed will be absorbed into local polytechnics likes Google and Yahoo.

 We wish all students waiting to sit the FCIE exam later this year all the best.

OUR FREE MISSION STATEMENT

"People with goals succeed because they know
where they are going. It's as simple as that."

Success or failure as a human being is not a matter of luck, circumstances, fate, or any of the other tiresome old cliches. Those are only excuses. The power to achieve the life of your dreams is in your hands—and the first step toward activating it is identifying the specific goals that will make your dreams real. After all, it’s much easier to get what you want out of life when you know where you’re going.

A mission statement is only a paragraph long, but it has specific, measurable outcomes and a deadline for accomplishing that outcome. It’s truly the best way to start your journey to success. And our FREE tool makes it easy for you to put your mission statement together in a simple, step-by-step, five-minute process.

Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” Creating a mission statement will help you change your direction. In just five minutes from now, you will have made the shift from an ordinary existence to an extraordinary existence.

Arthur Busaka

CEO/ENTREPRENEUR

Mobile:+254 722 80 62 99 or +254 734 80 62 99

Email: arthurbusaka@hotmail.com
facebook.com/arthur.busaka
Skype: arthurbusaka

My goal is to help you reach yours

SEX, BEAUTY & HAPPINESS

Ladies an orgasm happens between the ears and not the legs. It is up to every girl individually to understand her own body. If she cannot then how can she expect her partner to when it comes to love making.

If a woman wants satisfaction then experimentation through self pleasure is the only way for her to ever truly find the ultimate climax. To learn more sms the word BEDROOM TIPS to 6323 and you will receive amazing tips on self pleasure for women.

Arthur Busaka

CEO/ENTREPRENEUR

Mobile:+254 722 80 62 99 or +254 734 80 62 99

Email: arthurbusaka@hotmail.com
facebook.com/arthur.busaka
Skype: arthurbusaka

My goal is to help you reach yours

MOTIVATION IS LIKE TAKING A SHOWER, YOU NEED IT DAILY.

You and I know that self-confidence is the single most important component that separates people who are successful from those who are not...

And I've just discovered a FREE tool that helps you
assess your self-confidence with 100% accuracy...
SMS the word "MOTIVATE" to 6323 and get tips to regain your confidence instantly.

Regards;
Arthur Busaka

CEO/ENTREPRENEUR

Mobile:+254 722 80 62 99 or +254 734 80 62 99

mailto:arthurbusaka@hotmail.com
facebook.com/arthur.busaka
Skype: arthurbusaka

Being Real

"What are you seeking?" (from John 1:38)
_________
 
Two people started following Jesus. He turned to them and asked, "What are you seeking?" Instead of trying to be religiously profound, they were simply honest. Jesus told us to come as little children.
 
They just wanted to be with Jesus. They said to him, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?" (John 1:38) To that simple request Jesus gives his simple reply. He said to them, "Come and you will see." (John 1:39) Let's pray.
 
Lord Jesus, thank you for simple questions and straightforward answers. Free us from trying to 0ur impressive. Thank you for letting us come just as we are to find our rest in you. Amen.
 
Today's very great and precious promise
 
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Mat 11:28)
 
We have God's Word on it.
 
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